As Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, hearts across the world beat a little faster in anticipation of celebrating love and connection. It’s a time for candlelit dinners, heartfelt gestures, and expressing affection for your significant other. However, amidst the romance and roses, there’s an often-overlooked aspect of love that plays a pivotal role in the health of any relationship—quality sleep.
It’s natural to feel more on edge and outright grumpy when you lack quality sleep, but it can spell disaster when this spills over into your relationship. A new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that feelings about their relationship are more pessimistic when couples miss a good night’s rest, especially over time. Plus, they are prone to feel more angry and less grateful toward their significant other.
Since sleep quality is an issue for about 20 percent of the North American population, and one in three adults or more get less than the required minimum of seven hours of sleep, relationship satisfaction is in jeopardy for many couples. Romantic bonds are an essential source of well-being, and when they are not going well, they can lead to poor mental health and a less happy life.
Suppose your partner’s sleep difficulties are affecting your sense of romantic connection. In that case, this article will provide valuable insights into sleep apnea and how living with a partner who has sleep apnea is a journey.
How Your Partner’s Sleep Apnea May be Affecting You and Your Daily Lives
In addition to impacting your partner, your partner’s sleep difficulties can also lead to repercussions for you and your relationship. Here are some of the common troubles that couples often face:
- Worry and anxiety about their health
- Resentment over mood swings
- Frustration with their reduced energy levels, which may come across as laziness
- Diminished physical intimacy, including a lower sex drive and decreased sexual attraction
- Sleep deprivation caused by snoring
- A sense of disconnection
What Does the Research Reveal About Sleep Apnea and Relationships?
In a 2010 research paper featured in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, an investigation into the effects of sleep disorders on intimate relationships was conducted.
It found that 63% of participants with obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) reported experiencing relationship issues. Additionally, 69% mentioned a decrease in sexual desire, 46% encountered difficulties with sexual arousal, and 29% faced challenges in achieving orgasms.
Another study delved into the consequences of severe snoring. It concluded that it could lead to feelings of anger and resentment in a partner, potentially further impacting sexual function and intimacy.
Yet another study on the Outcome of CPAP Treatment on Intimate and Sexual Relationships in Men with Obstructive Sleep Apnea revealed that intimate and sexual activity recovers following CPAP treatment. A clinically meaningful change was found in participants following three months of treatment and increased across disease severity groups.
Similarly, the research demonstrated a significant increase in intimacy and sexual relationships in participants who received two weeks of CPAP treatment. Patients with severe OSA witnessed further improvement in intimacy and sexual relationships following six weeks of CPAP treatment. The study also showcased improvement on the International Index of Erectile Function in 20% of patients with OSA after being treated with CPAP for more than a year. After one month of CPAP treatment, 13 in 17 OSA patients witnessed resolved erectile dysfunction.
Why Is Sleep Apnea Related to Poor Relationships?
This is due to the strain on the relationship. Living with a partner who has sleep apnea causes sleep deprivation and resentment, creating a hostile home environment.
When you’re sleep-deprived, you essentially have thinner skin for potential stressors, annoyances, and the day-to-day issues that can arise between couples. A lack of sleep also increases feelings of scarcity since a basic need is unmet. The body gets worn out and is not getting enough of something critical, which is sleep — this makes it harder to feel grateful, exercise positivity, and have a content relationship.
It’s safe to say that when one partner is chronically struggling with their sleep, it can have some significant consequences. You love your partner and want them to feel like themselves and fully present in the relationship for your happiness. So, how can you approach this sensitive topic with compassion and empathy, and what can you do to help your partner’s sleep apnea?
Communication Between You & Your Partner is Key
If your partner’s sleep apnea symptoms aren’t addressed by sound judgment, your partner’s sleep deprivation may have long-term effects in terms of their health and your relationship. However, taking the first step towards resolution can be extremely difficult.
Ways to Approach the Issue
- Empathize with Their Situation
It’s natural to feel frustrated when your partner’s sleep troubles disrupt your own and when they seem less lively or different than before. However, it’s essential to step into their shoes. When discussing the issue with your partner, consider how you’d prefer to receive such information. This will result in a more understanding and productive conversation. - Approach the Matter with Care
This topic is delicate, primarily if it has led to previous disagreements. Approaching it with caution can make a significant difference. During a regular conversation, gently steer the discussion toward your concerns. This can help lower your partner’s defences, making them comfortable being vulnerable and honest. - Communicate with Compassion
Even if your partner’s response annoys you, showing kindness and compassion is crucial. In return, this approach can lead to a more favourable outcome. - Offer Support
Your commitment to your partner is driven by love and care, which is why you’re together. Everyone faces challenges in life, and being there for your partner during their most challenging moments will reinforce your bond. Ultimately, you aim to find a solution to their sleep apnea. Make it clear that you intend to support them in their journey toward improvement. - Express Physical Affection
If sleep apnea has impacted your sexual intimacy, simple gestures like holding their hand, embracing them, or offering a gentle touch on the arm can serve as reminders that you are their loving partner. These acts of vulnerability can encourage your partner to reciprocate in kind.
Poor sleep quality and sleep apnea can undoubtedly strain romantic relationships. Nevertheless, the key lies in effective communication and seeking appropriate treatment. By having open, empathetic dialogue, couples can navigate the challenges associated with sleep disturbances. Addressing sleep apnea with suitable CPAP treatments and ensuring good sleep hygiene not only improves sleep quality but also enhances overall health. As a result, it bolsters relationships, promoting a stronger bond and a happier, more fulfilling life together. So, remember, communication and treatment are the cornerstones to overcoming these hurdles and building a healthier, more harmonious relationship.
You are not alone on your journey towards having quality sleep at night, feeling well-rested, and having a strong bond with your partner. If you think you are experiencing sleep apnea symptoms, don’t wait. You can book an appointment to get tested at a nearby clinic. Our experts at Snore MD can help prescribe the best course of action for you!
